It’s almost the new year. And since the 7 billion people didn’t perish a few days ago, some of you may be thinking of what your New Years resolution(s) will be. If you’re like me, you don’t make them because, well, what’s the point? If you aren’t going to start going to the gym, stop smoking or stop being a cunt any other time of the year, why would you start Jan 1st? But I digress…
I want to speak out to some of my fellow industry performers for a bit. If your New Years resolution is to have a better shoot year (get more work), gain that “star” status that you may already misuse on your Twitter profile, or just want the ability to say “No, I want $500 more than that” (and actually get it) when a studio presents your scene rate… OR even if you’re new to the industry and want some pointers, then keep reading.
I have self-qualified myself to write what I’m about to. They’re most things I’ve done or learned over the years, and I’ve had a pretty successful ride so far. So get comfortable and take notes.
BUY YOUR DOMAIN NAME: This is more for the brand newbies. When I first started in the industry, someone actually told me to purchase my .com. I didn’t listen because I was naive and didn’t think someone would have interest in buying it since at the time I was “nobody” and didn’t really think I’d continue doing porn past my first shoot. The last thing you want to happen is for someone to buy your domain name and then be forced to add a XXX or something as equally annoying to the end of your name in order to create your website/blog. Especially if it’s an already established porn company that puts out trash content that later hires you on and then fires you for refusing to be their puppet like the rest of their staff. Whoops.
THE GYM: This is an ever changing industry. There will be new guys popping up (pun intended) everyday. Some won’t make it past their first shoot, some may make it a year and fizzle away, and a few will be the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in your life. If you’re wanting to be noticed in this industry, an industry in which you’re paid to be NAKED in front of a camera for people’s masturbational pleasure, get your ass into the gym (that or have a 10″+ dick). Studios are paying you to be in at least decent, if not great shape and perform well. All the guys with great bodies didn’t get them by sitting around wishing they had them. So don’t be a lazy twat; ask someone or google different workouts, drink your protein shakes, EAT….and WORKOUT. And stay away from the steroids. People will notice it. And being able to play connect the dots on your back is not cute.
OVEREXPOSURE: If you’re just wanting to get in, knock out as many scenes with as many studios as you can, make your money and get out, then skip this section because it doesn’t apply to you. Exposure is great. Overexposure can be your worst enemy. As stated in the previous section, there are new guys appearing everyday, so keep yourself as “in demand” as possible, as to preserve your appearance and presence. If you need the money, it’s totally understandable, otherwise don’t accept every shoot from every studio that makes you an offer. 40 scenes with 10 different studios in the same year….es no bueno.
DON’T BE A DOUCHE: There’s little to be said about this, as it explains itself. Your attitude is half the battle when it comes to gaining that “star” status (unless you marry into it like some people). I know too many guys that are attractive, but their attitude resembles the shit I took this morning. And I had a massive steak last night. Nobody wants to jerk off to you knowing you’re a douche.
YOU’RE IN CHARGE: Within reason, of course. Understand that YOU are the one whose face is going to be on the internet with those 5 guys blowing their loads on it. You really didn’t want to do it, but the director said you “had” to. No, no you don’t. That extra $100 they used to convince you to do it will be gone after you buy your weed for the week. Your cum covered face is there for much longer than that. It’s your career; don’t do shit you don’t actually want to. Just don’t take this to the point where you turn into a DIVA. Until you receive your DIVA card, that is.
PARTYING: We all do it. How you choose to do said partying, where you broadcast it and whether or not you end up in jail for being a dumbass is completely up to you. Be a drunk mess, just don’t do it at industry events where people will take pictures and it will end up on The Sword where thousands of people will see. Again, not cute. If you’re young and immature, chances are this is going in one ear and out the other. But you’re the ones that provide us with the entertainment of seeing how much of a disaster you are. And for that, we thank you.
MELTDOWNS: Want your “career” to crash and burn like the other train wrecks that have had their “epic” meltdowns? Then have one. Otherwise, in all honestly, people will read them and judge you for them, but nobody REALLY gives a shit about your issues. And nobody wants to support someone that they KNOW is a mentally unstable mess. So pick up a phone and call someone. Or text someone. Or send an email to a random email address. But for your own sake, keep it off social networking sites. The only good thing that comes from your meltdown is the fact it makes the rest of us look like we have our shit together.
CLUB APPEARANCES: Unfortunately, clubs aren’t going out of their way to bring in porn performers like they used to even just 2-3 years ago. Especially without going through an agent or another trusted performer. Not only are they fun, but the word of mouth is your best friend when it comes to getting your name out there and increasing your fan base. So
any most chances you get to do one, I highly recommend it. Again, it’s your career; get out there and take the initiative.
WAKE UP: Sometimes I wonder if guys realize that what they’re doing is going to be on the internet forever (or at least until the next apocalypse). Studios shouldn’t regret bringing you out due to your corpse-like performance. Let your inner slut out if you’re in front of the camera- we all know it’s in there. If you’ve read on the blogs that you look bored or that you’re a lame performer, it’s time to make a change. That, or McDonald’s is always hiring.
SUP BRO: Oh you’re straight? Great. If you’re not willing to ask “would you like fries with that?,” then you shouldn’t work at McDonald’s. If you aren’t willing to suck a dick in GAY porn, you shouldn’t work in gay porn. Any questions? No? Good.
This ends my ranting. If you have any additional questions or need advice on furthering your career in the adult industry, please contact me and I’d be happy to help you. Also include your email address so I can send you an invoice for my services. Thank you.
Oh and Happy Holidays!